We can all remember, recount, or re-tell our own personal coming-of-age stories. First day of school, first kiss, first car–let’s face it, everybody has one unless you’ve lived your entire life in a dark cave or an Amish community. One of my coming-of-age stories is when I reached an age when my parents started letting me stay up later at night, especially on the weekends and in the summer when school was out. As a result, I became well versed in the humor of Saturday Night Live, the jokes of Johnny Carson’s opening monologue, and the music of Friday Night Videos. The nights I watched Johnny I would sometimes stay up a little bit later and watch a bespectacled Hoosier with an odd sense of humor and a Top Ten List that was sometimes self-deprecating.
     Around this same time in my life there was a coming-of-age show on ABC called Thirty Something. It was an entertaining show but much of the show’s subject matter was lost to me because I was teenage-something. Years later, with my affinity for Thirty Something and Lettermen’s Top Ten List, I have compiled my own self-deprecating list since I am now thirty something.
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU ARE THIRTY SOMETHING
#10Â You and your buddies used to talk about music and movies. Now you talk about mutual funds and multi-vitamins.
#9 You’re listening to a classic rock station and they are playing Metallica.
#8Â Â You wonder why kids nowadays listen to thier music so loud.
#7Â You don’t understand why kids listen to the music they do and the voice in your head asking this question sounds just like your father’s.
#6Â Your television has been hijacked by an explorer named Dora and a big red dog named Clifford.
#5Â You feel an unusually large bump on one side of your body and you feel on the other side to see if it’s the same size.
#4Â You think about how much easier those college research papers would have been if there had been “googling” back then.
#3Â The ultimate technology question is no longer how to set the time on your vcr but rather, “How do I send a text message with audio included?”
#2Â What? Kids are wearing something other than Levis?
#1 Snap, crackle, and pop are sounds that used to come from your cereal, not your knees.
What are some of you mid-life coming-of-age comments or observations? Replies encouraged by all, but espcecially my fellow thirty somethings.         Â
June 7, 2007 at 2:32 pm
One coming of age moment for me occured at the Christmas “get-together” one year when uncle J.D. and the cousins decided to have a bottle rocket war. Well, step one of having a bottle rocket war is, of course, bottle rockets….and since we had none, uncle J.D. and all the cousins loaded up in his pimped-out yellow Honda prelude. I, being the responsible 10yr. old that I was, felt my presence was needed on this adventure to the fireworks stand so I piled in the back with all the cousins. That in itself was a coming of age moment considering I had never been off with the cousins before without parental supervision. This is where my adventure took a tragic turn. See, I figured since I had 10 years of life experience under my belt, that parental supervision thing didn’t apply to me any longer. So when uncle J.D. and the cousins repeatedly told me to go ask my parents if I could go I puffed my chest and proudly exclaimed, “They don’t care what I do…lets go fellers!” As soon as I uttered those words that little voice inside proudly exclaimed “Hey biggun, as soon as you and “ya fellers” get back they’re gonna see your A double S get tore up!!” I pushed that voice aside and we continued on with the journey. We stock-piled our ‘Moon-travelers’ in the trunk and as we rounded the final curve before our driveway, it felt like I was walking the Green Mile and thats when I noticed a shadowy figure standing firmly on the front porch. Without a doubt I knew who it was but as we pulled in the ‘ole chert drive I was praying that maybe it was the Grim Reaper, because the Grim Reaper would be as gentle as the Easter Bunny compared to what I was about to face. Uncle J.D. eased the car into park and silence fell over “my fellers”. Man, it was as quite as a deaf spelling bee. I crawled out of the car and started praying for Jesus to come back in the 15 seconds in takes me to walk to the porch. As I near the porch, the old country song “Daddy’s Hand” ringing in my ear, I took the first step up and Deddy so gracefully airlifted me by my collar the rest of the way to the porch and Uncle J.D. and “the fellers” witnessed the first few “Smacks” as we continued into the house (that was of course packed out with family members) and up to my room, my tail getting lit up the whole way. That was one of the last big whoopins I got and most certainly the most memorable. I was confined to my room the rest of the night so thru my window I witnessed one of the greatest bottle rocket wars Flat Rock had ever seen. However, my trampoline was caught in the crossfire and suffered a few burns. I still blame cousins Andy and D.J. for that one.
June 7, 2007 at 2:42 pm
That is a great list, J.D. I can relate!
June 8, 2007 at 12:51 am
I told an athlete about a famous Chinese proverb “Do or do not there is no try”, from a philosopher named “Yoda”. I made sure I said it as serious as I could expecting a chuckle from them and got nothing. Then I asked her if she had seen Star Wars before and she said “what??” In which I replied, nevermind.
June 8, 2007 at 7:51 pm
PDOG–I had had almost forgotten about that. I am sure I was scolded for taking you without permission to which I just reiterated that it was your fault. Missing a Christmas bottle rocket fight–talking about child abuse!!
June 10, 2007 at 2:33 am
Great list!!!
Another clear sign is when you leave more hair in the shower drain than on your head.
June 11, 2007 at 7:50 pm
Yeah, but it came from your back!
June 11, 2007 at 8:07 pm
I meant to say, especially when it comes from your back. Maybe that should have been in my top ten list. When hair quits growing all the places it’s supposed to and starts everywhere it’s not i.e. nose, ears and back!
June 15, 2007 at 9:11 pm
I’m 50 something and I can relate!
June 23, 2007 at 4:43 pm
At 41, I can relate as well, wamylove.
I haven’t yelled at any kids to get off my lawn, so hopefully, middle-age is being good to me.
August 3, 2007 at 11:43 am
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